I stood up for myself after sexually violated by a pervert in a minivan and no one supported me!

I am 24 and have been harassed many times (one way or another) but this incident is really shocking. Here’s why:

As usual I finished my 2 hrs run at lebanese university (it’s close to my house and I feel comfortable running there, better than running on the street). When I existed the university and walked a small distance I noticed a guy (aged 17-18) following me. I took a van (small one #4) he followed me and sat next to me.

He tried to start a conversation with me but I clearly stated that am older than him and I dont want to talk to him! he then started to touch my thighs with his fingers:

so I told him:”shu 3am ta3mol!”

He said: “ma shi!”

I can’t remember what happened after but when he wanted to leave the van I stood so he could go down .. his put his hands on my back!!

so I was fed up w I shouted b al van” enta 23od! shu 3melet hal2?! ma fye tenzal! w b kel baradet a3sab bred: ma shi! ana kamalet w edam al kel: ween hatet edak?!

2ali: majnoni enti!

told him: enta al bala a5la2! w hal haki kelo edam al nas w edam al driver!

nezel howi w ma hada 2alo kelmi!!!!! I felt so defeated!! cuz I did what I had to do! although there were 2 men and a women and the van driver!! none of them said a single word!!!!! what a society we live in!! I feel so sorry to even be part of such a community

Submitted by Malak

Location: Hadi Nassrallah Boulevard

Time of harassment: 16-20: Afternoon Rush Hour / العصر

Do you have a personal experience with sexual harassment or assault you would like to share? Please click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

هل لديك تجربة شخصية مع التحرش الجنسي أو الاعتداء تريد مشاركته ؟ الرجاء الضغط هنا


8 responses to “I stood up for myself after sexually violated by a pervert in a minivan and no one supported me!

  1. Mohamad Majzoub

    I just got a good idea for what to do if such an occasion happens in the future. If he does something like what he did in the beginning try to stop him (like you did), and then when you get a chance try to do something to him (bil galat) like what he tried to do – like step on his foot while going out of the bus and such while saying “ah sorry, I didn’t mean it” – so that way you would’ve given him a piece of what he had given you (sthing by mistake).

    And in case he considered this act some kind of trying by you to get his attention (and he tried to follow you or something), get back to him in a way like “shou shaklak 7ebib 2id3as 3a ijrak another time..” (and strong women can talk with such an attitude). And mostly, guys with such an attitude won’t like a girl talking or behaving in such a way (they like that THEY play the dominant role), and so they’d go away from her.

  2. @Mohamad,
    I don’t know you mate, but i can honestly tell you that it has been annoying to see a fatherly comment from you on every damn post here. And I feel that you think you are in position to give advice because you’re a guy, but it’s not working dude (and it’s annoying as hell).
    They know how to take care of themselves really well without a guy telling them what to do. You haven’t been in such situations, you didn’t walk a mile in their shoe, and no you don’t know the feeling (neither do I!); maybe you have good intentions but it’s really like a swimming teacher giving advice on how to ski.

    • Mohamad Majzoub

      @Tony, what I’m saying in my comment is ONLY a suggestion, and nothing more (just my 2 cents); and I don’t comment on every post (you’re exaggerating stuff); I only comment when I feel there is a need; and you can see that one poster took it into consideration here – http://qawemeharassment.com/2011/11/28/yelling-at-harassers-in-charqieh-gharbieh-and-everywhere-in-between/
      This is other than the advice that really worked in real life (and I can provide you with detailed incidents if needed).
      Again, if my tone appeared more than a suggestion; I’ll change it (if I decide to post again) to clearly indicate that this is only IMHO

  3. qawemeharassment

    This site is a forum for victims of sexual harassment to share their experiences and stories and offer tips based on experience. When we tell survivors that they should have reacted differently, this is a way of blaming victims for the harassment or for the results of the harassment. Victim-blaming can be condescending, hurtful, and insulting; offering advice based on something you’ve never done before is downright dangerous and problematic.

    When you tell someone to react differently, you are a) telling them their reactions were not correct, and b) suggesting that you know better than them what to do when their own bodies are in danger. ESPECIALLY if you are a man- and thus have an extremely reduced likelihood of harassment- this is plain offensive.

    A more helpful way of commenting is by offering one’s own experience as a guide, for example by submitting a story to the site so we can post. Unless you’ve tried it and have seen what happens, you are not in a position to instruct women and other victims of sexual harassment what to do.

    • Mohamad Majzoub

      1) I’m for sure not in a position to instruct women what to do (and I never assumed such a role). What I’m posting is a mere suggestion (only my 2 cents) which is something that I also do in real life.
      2) Never ever I’d put a blame on a victim – this is something that I fight people over – so it really annoys me that one accuses me of such a thing. What I say is just an idea – IMO – that the victim can have in the back of his head.
      3) I try to let the poster understand the mentality of the harasser; like the police sometimes tries to understand how criminals think, so they know how to fight them.
      4) When I was a 7-year old, I was harassed once by an older village kid (It’s only one incident, and I don’t remember how I reacted, but as I said I try to be in the victim’s shoes).

      • qawemeharassment

        -“Never ever I’d put a blame on a victim – this is something that I fight people over – so it really annoys me that one accuses me of such a thing.”

        You are victim-blaming in an indirect way by telling people ways to act different. If you had actually tried these ideas you have, this would be different, because you’d be offering your experience as guide, not just things you think women should do (but you yourself have never done nor witnessed). You’re not saying “it’s your fault”- you’re saying, “you should have done something different and I know better even though i have NEVER been in your situation.” It’s indirect, but it’s a similar idea.

        -“I try to let the poster understand the mentality of the harasser; like the police sometimes tries to understand how criminals think, so they know how to fight them.”

        Women tend to understand men much better than men understand women because they are oppressed by men and thus have been forced to adapt and learn strategies of interpreting, predicting, and resisting masculinist behaviors. For these reasons, men telling women “this is how men are” can sound extremely patronizing and is more of men thinking they need to explain to women how the world works.

  4. @mohamed do you realize no one gives a fuck that you’re merely giving a suggestion? the point is you’re not a woman, you don’t know personally this kind of harassment, therefore your 2 cents mean fuck all. and yes, telling someone that they should’ve reacted differently does blame them for the situation. just because that’s not your intent doesn’t mean that’s not what you’re implying. again, if you don’t experience street harassment, your 2 cents are worth a pile of donkey shit. sit down.

    • Mohamad Majzoub

      It’s pretty interesting to see someone verbally harassing people on qawemeharassment site..lol..and thankfully someone gave a damn fu** on what I said on the latest post posted yesterday, and that’s all I can say.

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