I have a stalker- what do I do??

So there is one guy coming near my building each evening since some days , asking me questions about myself , he says he has memory about me some years ago i was going to one computer shop where he used to go as well .

now it is weird situation because it is happening that he keeps walking each evening around 8pm and whenever i am driving my car between 8pm 12am hes there .. to tell me hello .. and it is getting more weird in fact because now he s telling me hello to add to that to speak about my ‘beauty’ and now he wants bring me gifts like today he gave me chocolate .

i am very much feeling bad i do not know how to do or how to stop him because i know nothing about this person and he might hurt me or any thing especially that he lives near .

please give me advice what to do ?

Submitted by Dalia

Location: Baucherieh

Time of harassment:   20-2: Night / الليل

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هل لديك تجربة شخصية مع التحرش الجنسي أو الاعتداء تريد مشاركته ؟ الرجاء الضغط هنا وملء استمارة التقديم على الانترنت. وتنشر جميع التقارير مجهول ما لم تحدد

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13 responses to “I have a stalker- what do I do??

  1. sticky stalker guy! first of all don’t pay him or reply to his questions! and if he offended you, shout in his face, don’t stay quiet and dont keep it to yourself , he needs to know that what he s doing is wrong! shout loud so other people can hear you shouting at him and he ll disappear! that’s what happened with me one time on the bus, there was a guy hitting on me and trying to touch me with the back of his hand , at first i asked him to stop nicely and politely but he seemed not understanding or not listening.. so i shouted at him! and the conductor kicked him out of the bus!

  2. Stalker Survivor in Lebanon

    Dear I have a stalker, I too had a stalker that was a van driver who used to follow me up & down Old Saida Road in Chouifat…at first I hid in local stores til he gave up…then I simply started praying to God & asking for Angels of protection from this person…soon I no longer was being stalked…My best advice is constant prayer and make your neighbors and local police aware of your situation…

  3. Ugh, that sucks.

    The main thing is to identify to him, bystanders, and YOURSELF that any and all approaches he takes towards you are WRONG and UNWELCOME, even if they seem polite and nice. He is using niceness as a tactic to get intimidate and control you. You do NOT need to respond kindly to him, because he is not being kind to you: he is being abusive. He will abuse any kindness/politeness you offer him by using it as a way to get more control over you.
    – make statements that clearly identify his behavior as wrong: “you are standing too close” “you are making me uncomfortable” “do not follow me” “do not bribe me”
    – do not accept gifts
    – if statements don’t work, use something like a whistle which will call attention to his behavior

    Other things that you could try:
    – vary your schedule
    – get a buddy or a dog
    – vary your route
    – tell a shopkeeper or neighbor who is on your route (ask for a safe haven to chill in)

    in the end, whatever actions you do that make you feel safe are the right ones. Trust your instincts and your fear, and act on them. love and solidarity. ❤

    Good luck.

  4. in the end, whatever actions you do that make you feel safe are the right ones. Trust your instincts and your fear, and act on them. love and solidarity. ❤

  5. Mohamed Ali Fakih

    I would ask some men (brothers, cousins, etc.) to sort of do the same to him. Let them wait till he shows up, and then they all swarm him, and started saying things like: “I know you from some computer shop; you look very nice today; maybe we should get together” all ofcourse very sarcastically and almost enough to scare the man… If I were one of the men, I would also go as far as to shove a peice of cholocate in his mouth!! I guarantee he’ll never bother you again!

    Anyway, I know this may seme to be a bit harsh, but I always think “Fight fire with fire”… Good luck!

  6. I guess you must show him that you are not afraid of him ,and most of all show him that you are not interested at allllllll in him .At the same time ,tell someone close to you ,a neighbor, a policeman ,and try to change your schedule if you can .
    Good luck

  7. The simplest thing to do is to have a male friend (or relative) of yours accompany you every night for about a week or so.
    You can even add to it by holding his hand when passing in front of your stalker.
    From here on, he will either leave you alone, or might show some ‘aggressiveness’, if it’s the latter, then that’s your free ticket to call in the police.

  8. shirleysbox

    Step 1: Stand up for yourself. Don’t be goody goody two shoes. Be firm and clear then inform him that his actions bother you.

    Step 2: If he keeps stalking you and harassing you the following day, then you will need to report it (make sure you find personal information such as

    .His full name,
    .License plate number, vehicle color.
    .Make and car model
    .Phone Number (Mobile/ Land Line)

    Step 3: Follow up on the report. Make sure you know the cop’s full name and phone number so you can find out on the status of the case.

    Step 4: If this doesn’t work, please contact me.

  9. shirleysbox

    Charles I don’t think pretending to seem unavailable for one or two days will keep all the stalkers in Lebanon at bay.

    Dan I don’t think changing her schedule/ avoiding this particular stalker will help. She needs to build strength not run away from this issue.

    Mohamad: There are far worse stories than this and maybe you need to be in her shoes to realize what it is really like to be harrassed.

    • Mohamed Ali Fakih

      “shirleysbox” … no clue what your point is… Just giving a practical suggestion… stay safe

  10. Farah Salka

    Dont call in male friends. You need to show him you are strong on your own not only in the presence of whoever because thats just fake and temporary and doesnt help. Tell him in a v confident tone his presence is very uncalled for and if he gets one meter near you one more time, you are calling the police and putting him in jail. Be very serous and if he doesnt take you seriously, act on it. Film this with a friend if need-be.

  11. Mohamed Ali Fakih

    Farah, let me give you a scenario that might make you understand that there is nothing wrong with calling in “male friends” as you so eloquently put it 🙂 …. here goes:

    If I (a male) was being stalked by a man twice my size that could squash me with his pinky finger, then (assuming calling the Police was a pointless option… which it probably is in Lebanon), then as I see it I have two options really:

    1) Stand up for myself, and probably get my teeth knocked out,
    2) Call friends that can intimidate him in numbers and size,

    Nothing wrong with having friends to help… whether male or female… Numbers is the key!!!! How do you think revolutions work? How do you think change is sought? Standing together!!!

    Hold a branch with two hands and bend… you break the branch.

    Hold 20 branches in a bunch with two hands and bend… UNBREAKABLE!

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